Love at first sight!

I first saw her right outside Isphani.That was my first glance and I knew I fell for her right away. She looked gorgeous in a light pink saree heavily studded with svarovski crystals. With the saree draped so stylishly and her complexion just a couple of shades lighter than the saree she was wearing, I just couldn't take off my eyes from this divine beauty. Contrastingly,I was in a wrinkle-free khakhi trouser, with a cool derby striped cotton shirt buttoned out with a white cotton tee inside. With a rugged hairstyle, many of my friends thought I looked cool! But I knew, it wouldn't please a princess like her! Nevertheless, I kept looking..I had her image trapped in my eyes and I knew it was there to stay!
***
A few days later, I met her at a party in Park Shereton.. We had a common friend who was forced (of course by me!) to give us an intro. The good news was that we were in the same profession and also that the chances of meeting her often, can be created! After a few minutes of chit-chat, I knew it. She was not just a beauty, but a beauty with loads of brains! I also decided, She is the one for me! But just exchanged courtesies and knew a little about her and parted. Now, she had not only filled my eyes, but my head too!
***
However, I didn't expect to bump into her near Valluvar Kottam! I was in a Park Avenue Tuxedo, grinning away to glory, when she came up with a gang. A cool gang of rugged men and women in pre-washed, bullet-shot, torn jeans!! She was sharing a joke with her friends and at the same time was longingly looking at the Azmi Diamond earring in the hoarding near by. There again, I locked her up in my eyes and thought, I should get her those earrings for our wedding! I just couldn't stop grinning or looking at her. Then suddenly it started raining, or rather pouring.. I am not sure if i should be saying this, but I thought she looked very, very attractive! I stood there, lost, looking at her, unmindful of the brand new tuxedo getting drenched!
***
Now again, outside Isphani..I am standing in my same old place, in the same old costume and what do I see in the car that is parked in the signal below?!! That is my lady gorgeous!! But, who is the guy next to her? Who is driving the car? I duck a little, twist my neck and just can't believe what I see!!! It's me who is driving the car!!I made it!! I made it!! I give a satisfying grin, sitting on a rugged mountain from the 'Derby' hoarding above!
***
From inside the car:
Lady Gorgeous : Look, another place, where you and I are posing in adjacent billboards!
Our hero : Well, I should say, this is where I first saw you!
Lady Gorgeous : But, I started noticing you, only in the Valluvar Kottam billboard. You looked great in the tuxedo.
Our hero : (just grins and shifts to first gear)
***
Yadhvi: Should I say that our lady gorgeous is sporting an Azmi solitaire in her ears?

(Inspired by plethora of hoardings in Chennai city!)

Patel Shot

Patel Shot n. a candid photograph with a person in the foreground and a place or object of interest (such as a tourist destination or landmark) in the background. (Src: Double-tongued Dictionary)

In India, with international travel booming in the IT industry which employs almost 40% of the eligible educated bachelors, 'Patel shots' are the in-thing for quite sometime now. I am not sure if it is by choice or chance, 90% of such IT world groom-to-be snaps that are exchanged happen to be shot abroad in a well known tourist spot!

It is not the same with the opposite sex though. Bride-to-be pictures are usually shot at home, studio with a plain background in ethnic wear. Women travel abroad too, but the pics in western outfits in tourist spots are not preferred.

What is the psychology behind a 'patel shot'?

1. Implicit advertising - if your daughter marries my son, she will get to travel to these spots

2. The guy/his family thinks, foreground object looks all the more attractive, when the background is attractive

3. Even if the prospective bride is not impressed by the guy, she might be impressed by the location and say 'mmm' approvingly

4. It acts as an ISI(Internationally Salaried Indian) mark, which increases the guy's value

5. Assume if the prospective bride gets pics from 2 similar alliances, one shot in India and the other abroad, she is more likely to choose the foreign one

Heights of Patel shots:

1. Mr.X in front of Eiffel tower or a tall structure, and the photographer would have tried to cover the entire structure with X as a miniature.

2. Mr.X with shades and a cap standing in Brooklyn Bridge or near Niagara - wonder if they are attempts to hide the squint and bald head

3. Mr.X standing with a group(usually 4 or 5) of eerie looking friends (all guys though!) next to a Toyota, Ford, Chevy(rented from Avis, Budget).

4.Mr.X standing close to a railing with hands stretched out on the railing and right foot crossed in front of the left foot(ishtyle!!!) and glaring into the camera with side grin

5. Mr.X with a leather jacket, woodland shoes/boots, hands inside the jacket pocket, standing(shivering?!!) in snow covered area.

6. Mr.X standing amidst the colorful trees and leaves of autumn.. Could that be to morph into Maddy in 'Pachai nirame' song?

Wonder how guys/their parents will react to such pics from the prospective brides!

Law of Convenience

It was so magnanimous of the TamilNadu govt. to give a tax waiver for movies with Thamizh titles. I also admire our Chief Minister for being able to, till date, give speeches and converse without English influence. But, there are some anomalies unhandled and a good potential to tap.

It would be a wiser decision of the govt. if they extend this kind of tax waiver to TV/ Radio channels as well. First - The Channel name and then the channel programs. That would encourage channels like Sun TV, Sun News, Sun Music, Suryan FM, KTV, change their english names. It is important for the govt. to realize that in today's world, TV media has a bigger impact on the kids than the movie. Hence, Tamilicizing, TV channels and programmes become all the more essential.

Apart from creating a tight corner for Jaya TV to change the show titles like 'Mom and Me', 'jackpot', etc., It would also encourage Pepsi Ungal Choice, Hello kuttis, Comedy Time, etc. to change their titles.

It is high time the Sun TV stakeholders realize that they have some conspirators in their own board trying to create a controversy. While the board suggests good local language names for their Malayalam, Telugu, Kannada arms like Kiran, Surya, Udaya, Teja, they have been repeatedly suggesting anglicized names only for Thamizh - including Sumangali Cable Vision and Sun Cinema ( the discontinued channels). It could well be their competitor's plan.


Note: Thanks to tea session and Sriram for sharing this thought.

Disclaimer: This has been published in this blog in view of protecting the best interests of the Thamilnadu govt. and Sun TV network.

Luncheon Problems

After some years of work experience, a group discussion chaired by the COO might not make one nervous. Atleast, I was not nervous or excited. But, I was more worried about what was to follow. It was a discussion over lunch - which means, lunch is served in the board room, as we discuss. Here comes the complications. To save the hassle of serving and avoid spilling, usually, pizzas are served during such sessions.

What is my problem? I really don't think I do a great job at eating a pizza neatly!
I would be rated 'clumsy' while tearing a cold pizza with fork and knife.
I would be rated 'yucky' when the dried mozzarella stretches without breaking especially when 1/2 the piece is inside my mouth.
I would be rated 'avaricious' while trying to finish the pizza hot to avoid the above problems
I would be rated 'dirty' as it is quite instinctive to pick the capsicum piece and put it into my mouth, before starting on the pizza
I would be rated 'best' when eating it with my hands - munching away.

With all these thoughts running on my head, I was quite relieved to see packed boxes from Sangeetha being served. 'Sangeetha' doesn't make pizzas, and I could manage a neat south Indian meal.. Sigh of relief.

But the story doesn't end there. It was a closed box and I was anxious to see what was in store. I was eagerly waiting for a cue and when the guy in my left opened the box, quickly sneaked a look at its contents - Lemon rice, Bisibellabath, curd rice, chips, mango pickle, chick-pea sundal and pineapple kaseri!! Now, that definitely is a decent treat for a hungry soul!

Rubbing my hands, sitting straight, forgetting the topic of discussion, getting the salivary glands rolling, I opened my box.....Horror! Dismay! Disappointment! NO CURD RICE - NO BEHELABATH!!! The mango pickle looked delicious, but where's his partner?! Instead of the curd rice, I had a second serving of the Bisibellabath :-(

Somebody's careless mistake, and I have been victimized in a board room where I cannot raise it as a concern. How would a group of techies discussing organizational concerns such as incident prevention and disaster recovery understand my problem? I wouldn't have been bothered had everybody had two servings of Bisibellabath. It was ONLY me!! and why ONLY me?

So, all you guys in catering business...Please, please be more careful.. Your careless deed could upset a software engineer and shoot down all her grey cells! Her ideas and innovations would be suppressed and she would be de-moralized by your insensitivity to client satisfaction!

Geared Tear Glands

I wish God created me with this add-on feature. At least, would like to know what it would cost to incorporate one. Would have saved a lot of trouble right from childhood. Now, to elaborate more on the problem, leave alone having a gear, my tear glands mal-functioned when in dire need. Not that I was suffering from Sjögren's Syndrome or something, but I just can't cry.

When as a child, this lack of lachrymal stimuli, has caused enough damage. A mistake from my side, would start off as a mild rebuke from my mother. If only I had turned on the engine and cried in first gear, my mother would have felt content, that her words have made me repent. But, even after some voluntary twitching and scrubbing, not a tear would roll down! Enough indication of stubbornness. This would just about aggravate her enough to whack me to get that tear out!

Over the times, I learnt to live with my handicap. I began to believe that 'Tears were expressions of weakness and surrender' and that am mentally strong not to cry. There were times, in childhood, I used to sit back and wonder, what if I don't cry for a bereavement? What will people think of me? Won't they call me stone-hearted? I was more worried about this than the loss from a bereavement!(Cruel Me - I used to think).

There were enough people around me who, capitalized on their geared tear glands. There were enough of them to make me jealous and yearn for this feature! Game or fight, competition or team work, the elders thought the crying or the meek were being bullied by me and were pitied. Grrr..

How many cry for emotional movies? There is this friend of mine who has tears rolling, even if the villain gets hit. Remember Anjali? or My dear kutti Chathaan? Almost all the kids, coming out of the movie hall, came out crying, except me!

Now, as an adult, there are a few pressing issues that had me cry my heart out in silence, at nights! I've cried for hours and days.. But, again, when I have to do it in front of others, my glands fail! My brain sometimes realizes that a 4th gear tear now, will save or help - But refuses to convert that into a command to my glands. I used to wonder if it is an ego problem!

Over so many years of analysis and living with this problem, there are a few things I realized.

1. There is an emotional gear – at least in case of bereavement! The more closer I am to a person, more the tears
2. Not many can control tears - just that many can start their vehicle in 3rd or 4th gear, while I jus can't
3. If a guy doesn't cry, he's considered to be strong. If a girl doesn't she is just too stubborn

Whatever be the justification, I really wish I could cry, when I want to!

Back from the Slumber

Top 10 things that keeps one away from updating the blog

1. Laziness
2. Sudden loss of interest in blogging without any reason
3. Drained imagination/boredom
4. Tied down to work
5. New found interest in something/somebody else
6. Other pressing issues
7. Sudden guilt about lack of time management
8. Comfortable going into the shell
9. Life is not as interesting/humorous as it used to be
10. Just don’t feel like it

It was all the ten of the above reasons that let downtoearth- down for sometime.
Now, I have really woken up with roaring energy and cheer. Hope to be more expressive soon!
But, I did think of some wacky reasons too.

1. Appraisal time and you better pretend to work hard
2. You are an hibernating species
3. You don't like reading your own blogs
4. Decide to spare your friends who are forced to read
5. Suffering from Gajini style Short term memory loss
6. Fingers refuse to type b-l-o-g-g-e-r-.-c-o-m
7. The reading part of the brain works better than the writing part

Interestingly, they seem to hold good too!

Grow Up!

There are so many little things, when taken care, can make a big difference to your professional outlook. At college, you are still a student and can do as you please! But once at work, please realize that there are so many jobless people noticing you. The way you carry yourself, reflect the kind of professional you are.

Listing those little things which sometimes is missed grossly.

1. Think twice before you scratch an itch. I am not sure if itch guard is a good alternative, but do guard your instincts.

2. Telephone is a device you speak into. You point should reach only the person on the other side of the line and not to people around you.

3. Converse of the above. You can murmur. But extended such personal conversations can be irritating.

4. Maintain a queue where one is expected. Worse, don't cut an existing one.

5. For goodness sake, when you are in a queue stand alone! Don't hold hands, hips, shoulders of your friend. Grow up!

6. Check if someone has the time and width to accommodate your questions/clarifications. Don't just barge in

7. Dress-up to command respect neither to kill nor kindle

8. However the opponent is dressed-up, look at their eyes and face when you speak
I have noticed more often, women do to women and men do to men - giving a glance at the outfit as they speak!! It is highly irritating

9. If there is a mirror in a public place, you can definitely glance into it. But for adjusting your hair-style, looking at the pimples, moustache, etc. please use the one in the rest-room. For heaven sake don't use it to look at people standing around you. That is not a rear-view mirror.
I see more men do the above! who said women are beauty conscious?

10. You may be the boss. But above and other company rules/standards applies to you too.

Supersinger R E T U R N S

Note: This is not a spoof cocktail of Airtel Super-singer and Superman Returns.

My knowledge in ornithology is almost -Nil-. But, I can definitely differentiate between the common species like crow, koel, hen, peacock, owl, swan, duck, crane, parrot, pelican, penguin, pigeon, woodpecker and kingfisher (Excuse the childish list. I started to list them assuming I'll have only about 4 to 5! Continued at one shot and this is impressive!). I can also identify some of their calls.

In this city so famous for its crows, encountering a bird of a different kind always makes me happy. Be it a pigeon, sparrow or parrot I have always loved to sight them! I haven't seen a koel at close quarters, but, when I heard her koo from the mango tree in our apartment, right outside my room, I was thrilled.

She does have a mellifluous voice - high pitched, sharp, loud, smooth and clean! No wonder 'Kuyil Paatu' (Koel's song) is honored in so many cinema songs! Her sincerity and whole-heartedness shows out in her early morning 'saadhagams'(singing practice). The only itch being, she starts out her Saadhagams quite early..say about 4.00 AM! Well, her voice definitely does not wake me up in spite of having the window facing the mango tree open, but for my uncle, who lives in the 2nd floor, 2 floors above my room, she serves as the morning alarm.

We first heard her sing last June (2005). Couple of weeks went by and everybody in the apartment had noticed her and heard her voice..My uncle once sighed 'En ippadi kathudhu nu thrialai...adhoda jodi ya tholaichudthu pola irukku!!(meaning: Not sure why she is giving those desperate calls, may be she lost her pair)

2 year old Sneha in the first floor, once stood in the balcony and yelled back 'Enna Venum ka-ka(She probably thought all birds are ka-ka) unakku?(meaning: Ms. Crow, what do you want?) Sometimes, when the squirrels are discussing aloud about their mango stock and deciding on territories of the tree, it is a complete concert!

By the way, did I tell you, it is only of late, I discovered that a koel can koo in 2 different ways! Crow says kaa-kaa, duck says quack-quack, parrot says kee-kee. But the koel is multi-faceted! She can either sing 'ku-ku-ku-ku-ku', monotonous short koo's or long loud ones like 'koo-ooo', 'koo-ooo' ('oo' as in 'boot'). The first kind is quite heart warming and makes one feel brisk and cheerful in the morning just like hearing 'chinna kuyil paadum paatu kaetkudha? ku,ku,ku,koo,ku..'. But the latter, grips you up. It always makes you feel, the koel is calling out to someone, wants something or singing a pathos - 'kuyilai pudichu koondil adaichu..'. Even 2 year old Sneha can feel it!

Getting to the reason for this post.. This koel in my mango tree, suddenly disappeared in 2 months time. I used to wonder if it was because of the insult by Sneha! May be the koel thought 'How dare this little one calls me ka-ka?'! Or, may be, she found her partner. So, since September 2005, the mango tree was just housing squirrels and crows.

But now, much to the joy and wonder of everybody in the apartment, She is back..the Supersinger is back to her mango tree! Looking forward to more saadhagams and kutcheries for the next 2 months!

Apple of the Eye - II

Visually Impaired?

The 'Mall' culture is very much en-vogue in Chennai. It is an irony that they've become the most happening place in a city with wide variety of spots for out-door entertainment like beach, theatres, temples and exhibitions. Yesterday, was my first visit to Citi Center(yeah, a li'l outdated, but for some reason, it didn't appeal to me as much as Spencer's or Lifestyle showroom did).

While I was there, I just realized that 'Lifestyle' is not only the name of a showroom but is a loud and clear statement by itself. It reflects the changing lifestyle of the people of Chennai - More so, related to the topic, 'lifestyle of parents and kids'!

I see more parents in 'mukkaal touser'(3/4ths?) and 'cut banian'(sleeveless t-shirts). Well, it suits the weather, so no complaints. While I was walking across the shop floor, with raised eyebrows looking at the price tags, designs and people looking at them, a loud sharp cry disturbed not just me, but, all the shoppers.

'Somebody help me!' yelled a 'mukka touser' lady. All eyes on her as she continued..

'I lost my kid, somebody help me, my daughter is missing - Aarthi..'

Before, the crowd could react or the situation could sink in, her husband came from somewhere, carrying a one-year old. The kid had a blank look, oblivious to the tension. She hadn't even realized that she got lost.

He said, 'Don't worry, I found her, she's here'.

After this, the lady reacted like Kamalhassan! a mixture of tears, smile and a growl.. and loudly enough, asks the one year old in Junoon Thamizh- 'Enga da pone nee?'

She has been so careless and engrossed in her shopping to miss a one-year old! And, to top that, asks the one-year old toddler, 'Where have you been?' !!! The crowd literally laughed at her.. and hope she realized it.

How did mothers of yesteryears manage with 8-10 kids in a kovil thiruvizha(temple festival)? I wonder!!

That was not it!

After a while, as I was walking, I saw a 50cms tall kid walking alone in front of me. I brushed her hair and heard a voice from behind,

'Is that your kid?'
(Err.. 'Not that I am aware of.. what made you think I'll own up with my parents around?' Thought me..)
But, said 'NO'
The lady then replied, 'I think she has lost her parents and is searching around'
!!!!
We walked behind her, a little worried. Then the lady stopped her to check if she needed help.

That was it. That was the cue for the kid to get scared and cry! All this while, she was searching for her parents, panicking, but not showing it out. The moment a stranger stopped her, she started yelling. The lady who stopped her, looked rather embarrassed and nervous. She didn't know what to do. I saw myself, backing up a little, just to indicate, 'I didn't do this'.

In about 2 mins, her parents (surprisingly another mukka touser mother) found her...

Now, am not against mukka touser, but wondering if it's got anything to do with losing a kid, missing the apple of the eye(topic has to be related). My saree clad mother, never lost me?!

Lawgical?

My knowledge on Indian Law is almost -Nil-. All the knowledge I have gathered is mostly from the movies or media and a minuscule from hearsay, reading and practical experiences. So be it. This doesn't mean, that, I shouldn't ask questions in my blogspot. Questions that shamelessly reveal my ignorance. Questions on issues that I think are contradictory.

Now, coming to the question, Is an arrest under NDPS Act bailable?
If yes, why did the media create so much hype and called it 'Non-bailable' when Rahul was arrested?
If No, why is he granted a bail now?

It is ironic that excluding the lawyers, judges and law students of our country, almost 98% of the population (or should I say 99.99%?) are completely ignorant and illiterate in the subject of law. We don't have to know the intricacies, but isn't it our duty/right to know the basics?

We are not civil engineers, but we still learn to measure land, calculate square foot, do some mason work
We are not doctors, but we still use Crocin, Cold Act, inject insulin, decide to take a vitamin
We are not electrical engineers but we fix our fuse, change bulbs, connect wires
We are not a CA/MBA, but we manage our finance, calculate ROI, Save tax
We are no psephologist but we analyze and talk so much about elections

When we take so much effort or should I say, effortlessly learn the basics of other Sciences, engineering and art, why do we ignore law so much?

Of course, We do know things like
When you are over 18, you can take decisions on your own, Section 420 is for cheating A little on fundamental rights - A little here and there...

But have we ever thought of knowing anything more? If suddenly, one day, police comes to arrest me, yes, I am knowledgeable enough to ask for a warrant, but after that? I wouldn't even know what section, if it is bailable? I wouldn't even know how an FIR or a court notice looks like.

If Income Tax comes in for a raid, do we know that there is a limit to the amount of gold we can possess? Do we know that the limit varies for men and women and depends on their marital status?

IMO, Basic literacy on law, should be made mandatory.
But, so what if the govt. is not doing that? Schools can take it up as part of Civics lessons. Don't they teach computer science and Java programming to VII- IX std. kids?
Still, so what if the schools don't teach, Can't we take an initiative and get some awareness just as we learnt to fix a fuse or take medicines?

I really wish the day is not far away!

Getting back to what I started with, it is ironic, that in such a law-illiterate country, we are all aware of one un-written law.. All are not equal in front of the eyes of law. Sahil Zaroo is not equal to Rahul Mahajan.

Quoting my favorite lines from George Orwell’s Animal Farm:
'All animals are equal. But some animals are more equal than the others'.

P.ORR.& Sons

Annamalai & I went on a shopping spree last afternoon. We had a list of things to buy and were stealing one hour of office time during lunch to get over with this. Since we had definite things in mind and all the shops were on the same street, blocks away, we shouldn't have any problems or delay. Or so we thought.

Having summarized that, now, I should say, shopping for a digital alarm clock at P.ORR & Sons was a tiresome experience! They had a good collection of alarm clocks and we chose the one we wanted in about 7 mins and were happy to have accomplished the task so quickly. Little did we realize then, that getting out of the store was a 45 min ordeal.

The sales boy (yeah, young fellow about 18 yrs) showed our choice to the old security and said 'Idhoda box venum anna' (Need the box for this!).
The security carelessly said 'Ange dhaan irundhadhu - Ulle room le paaru'.
The sales boy handed over the time piece to a sales woman and went in search of the box. After about 15 minutes he came back saying, 'Akka, box enge irukku nu theriuma?'
The saleswoman now carelessly said, 'Ange dhaan irundhadhu - Ulle room le paaru!' and she told the security 'Neenga poi paarunga'.
The security replied 'Paathaachu DQ/5000-34 model dhaane? paathaachu. illai.'

Malai feebly muttered 'Vera box le pottu koduthudunga, appadiye gift wrap pannidunga'
Saleswoman was walking out saying 'Oru 5 mins wait pannunga sir. kedaichidum'
Another 10 mins went by and now Malai asked 'Bill pottudareengala? box kedaikaradhukule?'

Now, if you, thought billing would have been done in a couple of minutes, you are wrong! Yes, it was computerized billing. The computer dated back to PC invention days and the billing system, running on old blue-green FoxPro, dated back to early days of computerization. That is not it. The person in the counter dated back to pen & paper days! Since the installation of the computer, he seems to have used only his right hand for keying in.

Malai put his credit card out as the person started typing with his right hand the clock model number. Now, it is not an automated process and once the model number is entered, the brand details do not appear. He had to type out the manufacturer (Q&Q). Q was fine, but for typing out Shift+7 to get the '&', he did some finger floor-gymnastics and finally got it. After finishing, he looked up, with a blank face and asked 'Credit Card a?'

He had created a cash bill! It has to be re-done for credit card, after some more finger-gymnastics, the bill was done.

Just then, the box also was finally found. The saleswoman, the boy and the security now accused each other for misplacing, not searching and carelessness. The saleswoman put the clock inside the box, stapled it up and then realized she hadn't put the guarantee card inside!. She tried shoving it inside thru stapled gaps! Malai said 'parava illai, thaniya koduthudunga' and we ran out! After all this, we didn’t have the nerve to get it gift wrapped!

To add to all this, it was a very hot day to be in a non-A/c store which had just 2 pedestal fans blowing out hot humid air.

There were 2 other shoppers on that hot afternoon, and they made a sales of close to Rs.3000 at that time!

Will I ever visit the shop again? Naaah...

Not sure if it was a bad day just for us, nor, do I know if all P.ORR & Sons outlets are like this. But, the store and the experience reflected the totally unmotivated, out-dated staff oblivious of customer service.

Schools Re-open!

Crisp smart(sometimes long!) uniform,
New bag, pencil box, stationery
Fresh covered books and notebooks
Bright white/shining black shoes,
Brisk walk, excited faces,
Cheerful recharged souls,
Tiny head full of holiday stories/fantasies,
Anticipation to meet old friends,
Nervousness about making new friends in new schools,
Pride of being in a higher class,
Planning for lunch time/evening games
Looking forward to new class teacher
Crying kids and worried parents of K.G

There is so much of excitement in the city... cha, really miss that good old days.
School days(Especially L.K.G to Class 10) - One period of life when everybody else worries about you and does the work for you. Parents make you learn, teachers teach and give you notes, conduct special classes for the weak. They take care of you and your studies. You just gotta play around!

Wish I could get back to my school days again!

Art of Dying

I was a regular reader of Art Buchwald's column in The Hindu. Though, his American sense of humor and satire would sometimes go over my head, most of the times, his column would leave a smile on my face for the rest of the day. Recently, I read about his ailment in the Hindu, and googled for more.

True to being a humorist, this Pulitzer Prize winner, talks on a lighter note, about his approaching death!

In a world and period where people are racing against time and destiny to win over death, What an attitude to not only accept death, but greet it with a smile! Art has refused dialysis for his failing kidneys (It would be a sin on my part to use un-Arty words like ‘suffering’ or ‘ailment’).

He, not only chose a graceful exit, but has cheerfully accepted the fact and quips about his end! This act of courage and strength has not only belittled the gloom around death but, has actually challenged the medical science. It is told that Art is doing very well than expected and is going for a holiday from his hospice. Now, death seems to be too scared to approach Art! Again, so typical of Art to quip 'Never trust your kidneys'

Quoting his golden words : 'Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.'

I really wish, when I die, it would be a delightful one!

BRB!

Back after a short break..
My scheduling algorithm gave more time share to Troy, Darshini and cousin's wedding. Even if I had blogged, it would be about one of these...hence, forcefully refrained from blogging.

Hoping to get active soon!

Stress Busters

Darshini & Troy



Energy Mongers, Stress Busters, Captivators, Addiction, Sheer Joy!

Ad Watch

A couple of weeks back, got to watch an interview with Louis Banks on Times Now (Brand Equity show). It was nice to see and recollect some of the good old ads.

Listing a few of them and other jingles that were my favorites of the yester years:

In random order:

1. Washing powder Nirma, washing powder Nirma...Ellorum potrum Nirma
2. Yeh zammeen, yeh aasmaan....Hamara Bajaj, Hamara Bajaj
3. Sila vishayame, visheshame, vaazhvile... Cadbury's Dairy Milk
4. Titan Watch - Mozart music
5. As crazy, as crazy as Goldspot...Goldspot, the zing thing..Goldspot
6. Sottu neelam doi, regal sottu neelam doi..enna venmayo, aha, enna venmaiyo
7. Am too old for... too young for...But I think you are just right for Amul chocolate
8. La....la la la la....la.la.laa...lyril
9. Saapiduvai, en uyire kozhi muttai..murgi ki andae(Hindi version is better)
10. Hai, Am Sanjana Got another Pepsi (not for the music though)
11. Ting, tingta ting.. Britannia
12. The taste that gets you started up – Nescafe

Good old DD days (or probably early days of cable channels)!

But nothing can beat this popular the radio commercial...'Ivandhaan my son..ivan......Bison' :-)

Apple of the eye - I

Read the intro here.

What is in a name?

When a baby is born into the family, a generation is created. The kith and kin are proud. Parents, grandparents are in bliss. The newborn is considered a gift from God to save the lineage. With, so much value added to the baby, parents feel the responsibility of being in charge of another human being. They vouch to do everything right for the little one. Right from the first bath, to the medicines, to the diet and most importantly, to the name. They hunt, analyze, dream, visualize, calculate and plan before choosing a name!

Dad: 'The name should be short and catchy. She might end up working in the US and the Americans shouldn't have a problem pronouncing it'

Mom: 'It should be unique and an uncommon name yet simple.'

Grandpa: 'Use letters from her grand ma's name. She will grow up to be an excellent women'

Grandma: 'Most preferably Devi's name from Sahasranamam'

Astrology: 'pri', 'shy', 'zhi' should be starters for a great life

After all deliberation and argument, the Murthy's were proud of 'Preetha', the little girl and her name. Time sped by and now, Preetha, 5 year old, goes to school.

One evening, Preetha came back home dull, sober and burst into tears. The family was shattered at the state of the little one. They gathered around, consoled, pampered and waited for Preetha to speak up.

Preetha, with a Dairy milk in her mouth said, 'I want to change my name!'

'What?' gasped Mommy.

Pr..(Err. As of now 'Preetha') said, 'I don't like my name and I want to change it right away.

'But, why? What happened?' Dad asked patiently.

'I just don't like it. There is 'Sulthana' who is my class leader. My teacher likes her. I also want to be called Sulthana'

(Grandma almost fainted. Grandpa wonders, how to tell Preetha, she can't be called Sulthana, without saying too much on religeon)

Dad says, 'But Preetha is a nice name. Like a little angel's. special'

Preetha retorts, 'It's not nice, my friends mock calling me 'pee..thaa'. And moreover, there is a bully in class, who is also Preetha. Can you change it or not?' she begs, with tear filled eyes.

Mom, collecting herself, said, 'that Preetha is different. You are our special little one, and God gave you this name'

Preetha replies, 'Then, I will ask God. I will cry to him. If I am Preetha, I know, 'I will die soon, be a bad girl, and not study well'

'DIE SOON? Who taught you such words?!!' mom yelled.

Preetha mumbled, 'I know, I am grown up. All my friends told.'

There was silence in the room and Preetha spoke up again, with determination in her voice

'If you don't like Sulthana, you can call me 'Anusha'. She is a smart akka in school who tells daily prayers and salutes in assembly. I will also be good like that'.

When the family was seriously thinking on how to handle this situation, in came Prashanth, Preetha's brother, a 7 year old.

He said 'Amma, call me Dhoni hereafter. I am going to grow my hair like that and hit six'.

Family:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Apple of the eye - An Intro

We have seen enough movies like ABCD(American Born Confused Desi), Bend it like Beckham and many more of that genre. We have also heard enough on stories and lifestyle of a confused NRI generation which is torn between cultural divide of India and the west.

'Apple of the eye' is an attempt to bring out such obscurities, that children are facing within our country. India Inc., is growing and the world is becoming a global village. India is slowly transitioning from an orthodox setup to an open culture. But, what about our mindsets? Are we in pace? Are we ready for handling the next generation? How much can we allow?

If Calvin (of Calvin & Hobbes) is a troublesome American kid, what havoc can his Indian counterpart cause? Gone are the days, when slogan 'Maatha, Pitha, Guru, Deivam' was the de facto for 'good' children. Younger generation parents prefer to handle children as friends. They prefer to guide them than command. But, what is their tolerance level? How much can they handle?

This is just an attempt to bring to light the situation and confuse more on a lighter note. I leave the task of devising a methodology of dealing with such situation at the hands of the individual. I leave it to you, for the simple reason that, you will know your child best and the solution should be personalized.

Spiderman dialogue, “With great power comes great responsibility” might be true. But the converse definitely is not, especially when handling kids. Greater responsibility can never give you greater power over the child!

Beat the Heat!

Thanks to -

Maavadu, Watermelon, Vadaam Koozh, Honeydew melon juice,

Puzhungal arisi pazhayadhu, Neer ahaaram, Paanai thanni, Jil moru,

Cool sea breeze, Rain tree and yellow gulmohur blossoms and

Noisy naughty kids..

Chennai can be a cool place to spend the summer!

Thanks to mom - Haven't missed much of the tradition being in a metro on hot summers!

Ooty - Owner's Pride Neighbor's Envy

How many of us remember the days when our mom used to have a bowl of pappu mammu or thachu mammu, run around and feed us?

I hardly can recollect! May be she had to do it when my tiny brain couldn't really coordinate the hand-to-mouth movement and when I didn't know the usage of thumb. Today, even if she tries to put something in my mouth, I fret, back-out, get it in my hand and help myself!

Well, I have seen my cousin run around to feed my niece and it is a wonder to watch the kid have rice smeared all over the face, run around, pretend to throw up, spit out, et al

In one of the recent marriages that I attended, I have also seen the groom feed the bride during lunch, spilling some juice on her high-priced pattu saree. She had a funny expression on the picture that captured the moment - happiness of getting fed by the man, over-shadowed by the cost and the state of the saree

Many more such instances! We've seen an attendant feed the patient, birthday cakes at parties, couples at restaurants and they are all normal incidents. It is something that happens in day-to-day life, and nobody complains.

But, But, why do you have to do it at work? At Tidel Food Court, sitting right opposite me, when I am helping myself, swallowing that sub-standard gruel with the company of three empty chairs!! Not that I protest, but it sure caused an envious 'fire in the belly'(causing severe acidity) for the fellow diners at surrounding tables.

* The geek who was thinking of a bug in java script, in the next table, forgot his 'helloworld' program.

* The french-beard manager, who had fought with his wife, (obviously, that landed him at food court) sighed heavily, cooling down his hot soup in that one sigh

* The young programmer whose girl friend is on a long-term onsite assignment, almost burst into tears

* And I, looked vaguely at the three empty chairs around me!

Why food court? And why right in front of my eyes?!

Now, to link the title…

'Ooty vidradhu thapillai... aana, idam, porul, eval arindhu ooty vidavum'. Ungal Ooty, suthi irukaravangaluku Sahara!!
[Roughly translates to: Nothing wrong in feeding, but just do it in the right place. Owner's pride neighbor's envy.]

PS: And, that makes post no 50!

Happy Fool's Day!

It is a pleasure to to play a prank and get fooled on this day! Have Fun!

And, this is the closest picture I could take (obviously, of you) when somebody played a prank!



You look very smart! Just live the spirit!

New Shoes at 10.00 AM

No, I don't suffer from Selective Amnesia like the politicians nor from Short-term memory loss like Sanjay Ramaswamy. I can say this for sure, coz, I remember the trivia, birthdays and telephone numbers. But what skips my memory is that I have to call or wish people on their birthdays!! So, am noted very much for the absent mindedness.

My friends very well understand if I miss their birthdays. I usually call them the previous day, ask 'what plans for birthday?' - forget to call them ON the D-day - Sincerely call up the next day to convey my belated wishes!! And, this carelessness does not stop with forgetting birthdays..

I am very popular for misplacing things as well. I do spend on an average atleast 2 hours per week searching. Searching for Spectacles, car keys, wallet, employee-id, what not?! Though I misplace them, I never lose them. If anything lies around, people who know me would probably pick it up, with an assurance that it is going to be mine.

'Arai Kaasu Amman'*, at my house, by now, would have contracted diabetes!

Now, Why did I have to do this self-revelation? Why confess my weakness in public? All to answer krishis's question and to let you know, as promised, how did I get a new pair of shoes at 10.00 AM on a Monday morning.

Monday morning, got ready to work, started my car, waded thru heavy traffic, got into Tidel and parked my car. All was fine till then. Since, I have the habit of driving without my footwear, All i have to do is, wear it on, switch-off the radio, get off, lock the car and walk to work...

Now, where is my footwear? First, my feet did the search, I just moved it on the carpet expecting to hit on my shoes. As that attempt was futile, bent down, put my hand underneath and tried. Failed again. Got off at Tidel, bare-foot, bent down to see under the seat… No Shoes.. 'Yeah', told my brain, 'how can it be there? You took it out last night to go to the restaurant!!'

When such is the situation, what can I do? what are the possibilities?

1. Go to work bare-feet and set a trend.
It definitely would be exciting, but guess my company's dresscode policy does not allow that!

2. Ping some friends guys/girls and check if they have an extra pair of my size at work.
They would really think I am insane to expect them to have/bring a footwear at work. But, I still did it. Nobody did!

3. Check if one of them who lived nearby had an extra pair, that almost fit me.. and if that person was jobless on monday morning to come with me for shoe-sake.

4. Buy it from a nearby shop - But are shoe shops in Adyar open by 9.45 AM?

5. Go back home 13 kms, for Shoes! - What a way to start Monday morning!

However, I do know #4. is feasible. Coz, this is not the first time am in this situation. I have been through the same, sometime back and have bought from the nearby Bata Seconds showroom.

The shop had just opened, the shutters half up. I parked the car in front of the shop and bought a pair of slippers for Rs.170. The shopkeeper didn't bother to take a box out for me. He just billed and dropped the slipper down for me to wear!

* 'Arai Kaasu Amman' is the Deity to whom it is customary to pray when you lose something. There is a belief that She finds it for you and you just have treat her with some 'jaggery'. It has been true in most of my cases.

Low Tides..

On a gloomy night, when the tides are low,
The tiny stars in the sky glitter and glow.
What more can they, so afar, do to say...
'Good times ahead', stay happy and gay!!

Well, this is not my attempt on poetry... I know it can hardly pass as a rhyme :-) It is just to reflect how little things made me smile on a dully gloomy day!

I was really down and out Monday morning... and on Tuesday, I reflect, how many little things made me smile!

Thanks to all those tiny stars that glittered through my dull day..

1. Morning flowers in the garden, the koel and crows on the rain tree
2. Got a new pair of shoes at 10.00 AM!(should blog about this separately)
3. Little note of appreciation from a tough manager in my mailbox
4. Friends and well-wishers pinged me oft
5. Food Court made Gulab Jamun for lunch
6. Malai gave me his Gulab Jamun too (2 GJs made my day!)
7. Code worked fine at the first stroke of keys
8. Left my car window open but nothing got lost
9. The usual cheering tea sessions
10. Went to a temple by the sea, calm and serene...

Standing by the sea, I looked up at the sky...

On a gloomy night, when the tides are low,
The tiny stars in the sky glitter and glow.

An Unusual Cast

Those who didn't read 'A Usual Story' yet, please read that before you continue.

Statutory Warning: Please do not scroll down without reading the previous post, or you will miss the tiny element of suspense I intend to treat you with.

And, for all those who read that and thought that it was a big budget adaptation(Shankar's version) of an old Bhagyaraj flick featuring the famous 'Ek gaon mein, ek kissaan...' comedy, read ahead and do let me know if this impresses you...

Maggie's demands:
It was a simple request. Actually, an offer. She said, 'One who loves me most, will have to live with me 24/7’. She said, 'He should be able to denounce his job, commitment and come with me to lead a happy, royal life ever after.' She added, 'We will be taken care of, provided the best of facilities and will not have great responsibilities.'

This, was quite an awakening offer for our three heroes!


Freddy, Lead Marijuana tracker, K-9 division NYPD.


Max, Most Valuable Player (MVP) of NYU pediatrics trauma therapy division.

Sam, 'Best Guide for blind and deaf', Red Cross, Specially Challenged support division.
(with his trinket)

Will they leave their career for Maggie, the royal beauty?!



No, they didn't! - just the way Maggie wanted!

They realized, Maggie was just a distraction...They also understood, they would be courting better suitors, who adored them for what they are capable of!

Maggie was a good friend of them now, and didn't distract any more..

Pic Courtesy: WWW

Disclaimer : These pictures are ONLY author's choice to suit the characters and any vague resemblences to anybody is purely coincidental.

A Usual Story

Scene : NY city
Cast :
1. Freddy, Working for NYPD,
2. Max, Trauma Therapist in NYU Hospital,
3. Sam, Member and Service worker with Red Cross
4. Maggie, rich, cute, adorable, smart, adjective, adjective, adjective...

Freddy, Max and Sam have lots in common, but, each one is so different from the other! Though all their ancestors had migrated from Europe, especially Germany, during WW-II, they are all so American. All three of them are so molded by the nature of their work. They are, what their work demands, and are very good at that too.

Max, is all fun, cool, extrovert and relaxed. May be, his job demands such a disposition, but he is so typical. He never frets over anything.
Freddy, is a very responsible chap. He means business in all his approach. He's so professional, chats less and is very wise.
Sam, is compassionate, patient and fun-loving. Anybody can approach him for help and it will be given a best shot.

Of course they had a few things in common too.. All three loved their jobs, and they also had a habit of beginning their day with some work-out in the Central Park. Yeah, the same park that has played an important role in may Hollywood flicks. To make the long story short, they soon became acquaintances and would spend sometime together everyday.

All was well until Maggie walked (rather ran) into their lives! She had just moved to NY from LA, and comes jogging in Central Park. Can there be a prettier dude in the city?! She was not only pretty, but also very, very rich. She came to the park in different high-end model cars, more often in a huge shining BMW, visited best of the salons and was royally mannered!

Now the story becomes a run in the mill. All three get so psyched up and spent most of the day planning to please and acquainting her. They started competing and out-smarting each other to grab her attention. She was friends with all three of them and did not give a clue on who she liked the most. But, Maggie, definitely was eating up quality time of Max, Freddy and Sam!

Freddy, once, while at work, thought of the perfume Maggie uses and as a result, missed to catch a marijuana trader.
Max, was so upset, when Maggie sprained her petite ankles, that he just couldn't cheer a group of kids who met with an accident
Sam, started, expecting and accepting trinkets in return to his services. He wanted to flash and gift them to Maggie!

Such was an impact of their infatuation! and Maggie, being smart, realized it soon! She liked and respected all three of them, more for their work and service to the community than for their affection towards her. She decided to teach them all a lesson. She said, she liked all three equally and would court one of them who could do what she asks for. Her demand was simple, but made Max, Freddy and Sam understand things better.

PS: Maggie's demands, and star cast in the next post.

My Best Friend’s Wedding

Yeah, one of my best buddies’ wedding is scheduled on May 18th 2006. Yesterday, they fix my cousin’s wedding also on May 18th! Ironically, their names are so similar! Aruna & Arun. To add to the coincidence, both their spouse’s names start with alphabet V!

Now, my problem is, who’s wedding should I attend? One wedding is in Palakkad and the other in Thiruvaroor

* A Friend is somebody who I cry to, a cousin is not!
* A Friend is somebody who worries about me, a cousin is not!
* A Friend is somebody who’ll feel my absence, a cousin might not!
* At my friend’s wedding, I have other friends to have fun with. At my cousin’s, well, relatives are not as fun as friends…are they ever?!
* Cousin has a reception later, but friend doesn’t…
* Friend has already invited and booked the tickets, cousin, well, am not sure if I will be invited. It is just assumed that it is mandatory to attend.

I am not sure if there is an easy mode of transportation between Thiruvaroor & Palakkad. Even if there is one, will I be allowed to travel alone?! Frankly, I’d love to attend the friend’s wedding and my cousin’s reception.

Well, am not a rebellious feminist without family values, but, only during such instances, I feel guys have an advantage over women in an orthodox family setup. If it was a male member, commuting between Thiruvaroor & Palakkad wouldn't be an issue!

What are the odds that I will be let to do that? Will I win the case? Isn’t my wish a reasonable one?

Shrubs in the sidewalk

Dear Van Anna,
I want to grow big. When I grow big like Daddy, I want to try and catch the moon. I will jump up and say hello to the flying bird. I will try to pluck mangoes and tamarind without throwing stones at them. I will hold the top-bar when standing inside the bus. I will ride a bike, climb mountains.

When I grow big and go in a car of my own, and you are old, I will take you in my car. I will also buy a van and drive fast like you. I will not ask your help to climb in and out of the bus.

I will even walk before your van/bus and will be seen from your seat..Until then, please be a little careful when you drop me off and start your vehicle. I am only 2 feet tall and will not be seen until you peep...

Please allow me to grow tall...grow big, soar...

Yours Little,
Tiny toddler

Kids are not shrubs in the sidewalk to be carelessly run over! [news]

Bird's eye View

An Alternate Angle...

"Bird's Eye View". This phrase is often used as a metaphor to describe an overview about something. It is very obvious that when Bard's ancestors devised the phrase, they had imagined a bird in flight on the sky, trying to look at an object on the ground below. The phrase and its meaning perfectly matches the visualization. When we look at a problem/issue from a distance and it is described as the bird's eye view.

But have we ever wondered of a bird's vision when it is at the ground level? Off late, I happened to watch the behavior of crows, pigeons and parrots at close quarters and since then, this question has been lingering on my dumb head! However, I would like to omit owls and bats from this analysis for the anatomical positioning of their eyes.

For the rest of the common species of birds, their eyes are at the sides of their tiny head, equidistant from the nose. That is, when they sit straight facing North, they will get to see East & West. I seriously wonder how they manage to correlate between the left and the right eye. Left eye can show them delicious fruits and right eye can show an approaching predator! Now to what will the brain respond? Vision becomes more complicated, when they wanna look down or up. They actually turn their head at right angle, position one eye to see down (or one eye to see up??!!) and look down(up??!!).

I got this doubt, when I saw a pigeon seated at the parapet from the 10th floor window. He/She tilted his/her head to look up/down. One eye looking up and one eye looking down, how will his/her tiny little brain between the eyes, understand which is up/down. How will the teeny-weeny brain make out what exactly the bird is looking at?!

Based on the above confusion, I think we should coin a phrase, 'Sitting bird's eye view' which would simply mean, looking at a problem/issue on two different 180 degree angles and getting confused.

Special Valentine's Evening!

I wrapped up my work at 7.50 and came out of office. 2 days after full moon, the silver ball, was shining bright and big. It just added glamour to the romance in the air. I hurried to the parking lot, humming an all time Ilayaraja favorite 'Thoongadhe vizhigal rendu'. I switched on the radio and Radio Mirchi was playing 'Oru maalai ila veyil neram'. Perfect romantic evening. Cut.

As I pulled out from the parking space, just realized my car was behaving crazy. She was not the same old buddy who'd dance to my tunes. I said 'reverse' and she did it sluggishly. I said 'Turn right' and literally dragged, she budged reluctantly. That was very unlike her! I put her to an halt and got out to examine... And Lo! Found a flat tyre'!. Cut.

The flat tyre did give me a mixed feeling. This is probably the 3rd or the 4th instance of punctured tyre in 3 years. But, never once at work. She'd never let me down. Usually, she'd contract a puncture at home and I will have my brother/dad/ Narayan Anna to help me out. For once, I get to change the tyre all by myself, and am happy about it! Yes, 'Happy'. I always thought, I should learn to handle it myself. One is never assured of a helping hand always in life.

I parked her back into my parking slot, opened the boot and pulled out the spare tyre. Just when I was trying to pull out the jockey, a guy came to me and asked "Ennanga tyre puncture a?" He was a driver waiting at the parking lot, and before I could reply, pulled out the jockey for me. I got it from him, and went down to place it under the car, He came there, got it from me and started working on changing the tyre. I felt so disappointed. I really wanted to do it myself.

It was very nice of him to come and help even before it was asked for, but what do I tell him? I was really contemplating. Even if I politely said, 'I'll learn to do it myself', Later, what if I couldn't unscrew the tyre, it will be a little embarrassing. I also wasn't sure if he'll really understand my intention! So, I just let him help me.

Now, there were loads of other questions running thru my head. 'Should I offer to pay him for the help?', 'Will that be embarrassing him?', 'If I have to pay, how much?', 'Is Rs.20 fine? or Rs. 50?', 'Do I have those bills in my wallet?' Ughh...

After he was done, I gave him the scrap cloth to wipe his hands. I also pulled my wallet out and he said 'Parava illai irukattum'. I felt really awkward. To my dismay, 'I just had a Rs.10 note and rest 100s!' 'How can I ask him to take 20-50 and give me change?' He said 'Parava illai' a couple more times, and I decided to leave it alone. Told him a 'Big Thanks'. Cut.

After about 20-30 mins of this work, when I pulled the car out again, I thought I heard something..Somebody singing 'Solaiyilum mutkal thondrum,naanum,neeyum neenginaal..' Stopped and looked around, again, I heard something that was totally unbelievable! I heard my Zen murmur to the Santro in the next slot, 'I tore myself to get this extra time with you on this nice valentine's night'.

‘Naan Unnai, neenga maaten…Neenginaal thoonga maaten…’

Jujube Jelly

How many have been lucky enough to taste this scrumptious delicacy of the south? If the fruit, by itself is a delight, created by God, then, this delicious man-made tidbit, is a symphony to the taste-buds.

If the name does not ring a bell and you are still wondering what am drooling about, I’ll spell out the tamil equivalent - E-L-A-N-D-H-A-I V-A-D-A-I!

Elandhaipazham / Elandhai vadai is probably the most un-hygienic things I indulge myself to... Who cares about hygiene when it tastes so good! When Chinese cuisine is full of worms and other creepy reptiles, swallowing a couple of crushed worms won't kill me...

If, L.R. Eswari and Kannadasan honored the fruit with the famous number of the yester years 'Elandhapayam, elandhapayam..chekka chivandha payam', Ilaythalapathi Vijay added glamour with 'Elandhapazham, elandhapazham unakku dhan'

Yeah, so what if the fruit is sold in open strollers on dusty T.Nagar and Purasaiwalkam roads? So what if the fruit cannot be washed? A fruit is a fruit is a fruit! and a delicious one too!

Getting back to Elandhai Vadai, the rustic local brands sold in Kumbakonam and Mayiladudhurai districts are the best. Though it is very difficult to find them in Chennai, there are a few stores like Ambiga Depot which sells a cleaner looking version.

It is a pity that this fruit didn’t get its due recognition. On googling further, I find that this tiny blob is rich in Vitamin C! One good reason to have more jujubes..

Hail Jujube!

Myokymia?!

When I looked at the mirror on Saturday morning... My right lower eyelid was twitching. I didn't find anything odd about it, considered it a usual phenomenon and left it at that. But on Monday, when at work, when my friend said, your eye is twitching, I realized, that it has been like this for 2 days! The twitching, by itself did not bother or hinder, but the thought that of it did!

Past Monday and Tuesday, it still went on and on! It became quite a habit to wake up early in the morning and check in the mirror to see if it was twitching. When am jobless, I look at the mirror and start timing the contractions and sometimes create music beats out of it! it became so part of my eye...

On Wednesday, decided to google about it and came up with hi-fi medical terms. I was surprised this problem had a name and it indeed is a documented ailment! And some were scary too. After Wednesday, I had names like Myokymia, Blaspherospasm, hepifacial spasm, fibromyalgia :-) and to think it is one of this was err..thrilling!

By Thursday, I had scared people enough with information and specifics, that dad ended up booking an appointment with a neuro-surgeon. It took some efforts to talk him out of this. They are slightly on the panic mode. The family doctor, zeroed in on Myokymia(yeah!! I knew it already), to start with, and asked a few questions.

1. Do you intake too much caffeine? Nope.. I don't drink coffee
2. Alcohol? Err... No.. and even if I did, will I tell you?
3. Were you stressed out? May be, if browsing, solving crosswords is stress..
4. Do you sleep well? at work, yes.

After this, he gave me some simple medication.

Now, to elaborate on what google taught me, Myokymia is just a muscle contraction, which will be alright in a couple of days.

But, if it is any other hi-fi ailment, it is a neuro problem, and one suggested that this was the initial symptom of a mental disorder!! Guess this is one of the down sides of too much medical information on the net!

It is 9.00 PM, Thursday and my eyelid goes on and on and on!

Drive...

"I Drive Getz, What Drives you?" is probably the most wishy-washy tag line of all the recent ads. Every time I get to see this one, I wonder, why didn't the not-so-creative head, think of a statement with better English if not catchy. Even, "I Drive Getz, What do you drive?" or "Getz Drives me, What Drives you?" would have done justice! It becomes all the more dumb, when Sania has an expression of 'Am doomed! what dooms you?' on her face.

Well, the purpose of this post is not to indict the men behind this ad, but to elaborate on my remake of that statement!

"Scooters drive sardarjis, Sardarji drives Scooter"

(Though 'ride' is better English, I am retaining 'drive' to give credit to the original).

And, when I say scooters, I mean the Chetaks and Vespas. It is a known fact that scooter sales in Punjab, outnumbers the chappathis they make in a day. But, they retain this tradition when in other states as well! I had a Punjabi classmate who came to college in scooter! And today, I saw a sardarji in his brand new Chetak in the IT highway!

I am not against scooters. In fact, my first vehicle ride was in a scooter which dad owned in late 70s and early 80s. But, am just wondering, what drives the Sardarjis to buy one, even today.

Listing few probable reasons for this scooter craze:

1. Sardarji ancestors have been trained to use hand gear and have passed that knowledge to their heirs as well. Kids go to buy a bike, don't find the gear and end up buying a scooter

2. Junior sardar's top knot turban can hide the view if he's sitting on the fuel tank of a bike viz-a-viz standing in front in the scooter

3. Sardarjis believe their wrists are strong and needs regular exercise

4. Riding a 4-stroke bike and the speed could render them turbanless. They obviously can't afford to stop to pick 'em up everytime it flies

5. Sardarjis believe the bikes can die easily as it does not drink as much fuel as the healthy scooters do.

6. Sardarjis believe in Joint Family and only scooter ads feature sentimental values

7. Sardarini always wants a separate seat and bikes don't offer this feature

above all..

8. Whatever be the problem, Scooter starts if they are tilted and put to rest for sometime, but bikes don't!

P.S: This post is just to give a humorous touch to the affinity for scooters and is not meant to hurt or mock anybody

A Gentleman and Puffy logic

Last night, when I was leaving for the day, I met a senior colleague at the lift lobby. We started discussing about project and company matters. It was a 'walk the talk' session down Tidel entrance, until I looked for the car key inside my bag and couldn't find it. Now, this is the nth time, I am doing this, so, was pretty sure, I had left it behind. I excused myself in the middle of the serious conversation and he looked at me weirdly and waved goodbye.

I turned to get back, still digging my bag, and lo! the key was inside an inner compartment! Now, if that senior colleague noticed me walking a few steps behind him, he would think, that it was a gimmick to cut the conversation short. You can't expect him to believe that a car key could really get lost inside a 10" bag! To avoid this, I decided to catch up with him and continue the talk. But, to my dismay, he had lighted his cigarette and had started walking down.

Now, do I embarrass him by talking to him? or Do I just tip-toe behind him or Do I simply ignore and walk ahead? Thought for a few seconds and walked behind him. I thought, 'I better decide soon, he could turn any moment in the pretext of crossing and could notice me!' I decided to put the ball in his court. Leave the choice to him... So I called him out and told him, I found the keys.

Now, it was his turn to decide. Should he cut the conversation short and continue the puff? Should he sacrifice his unused cigarette and continue the conversation with the lady? or should he do both - talking and puffing?(and put the ball back in my court!! with an ace). I was wondering what he'd do?!

He hid the cigarette in his hands, and stood in the parking lot talking. I tried hard not to look at his hands. I was just getting curious. We were in the middle of some serious discussion, that he completely forgot the puff in his hands...It just burnt up and hurt his fingers. I noticed him dropping the bud with a shock and a slight 'ouch' expression in his face!

I didn't show any reaction, though I found the whole thing funny! He must have cursed me for making him waste a cigarette! But, he definitely is a Gentleman!

I got to the car with a chuckle and the satisfaction of saving his lungs from one cigarette ;-)

Outdated!

So much said and fought about generation gap and wavelength mismatches with parents and grandparents, it is quite a revelation to know that I am already a generation behind! Most of my cousins are school/college goers and I keep myself updated by discussing current affairs with them!

Listing a few things that you might have to be enlightened about, to stay updated:

1. Just when I thought that I've finally mugged up all the "Evolve forms" of Pokemon, it is outdated..My cousins don't discuss Pokemon, Pikachu, combat characteristics any more!

2. I am usually the silent observer of their discussions and this time, I heard about 'babe laid' and was aghast! What a nasty world!! K-I-D-S..talking about the excitement of 'babe laid'!!! Finally, killing all my ego, asked them, "Err...What is babe laid?" Lo! Chotu, the smallest one of all, shows me the new gameing gear - Beyblade! It is a top like thingy which again has different forms I guess.

3. School management conducts raids in all classes - Starting 3rd to 12th. The articles seized vary in all these classes

3rd, 4th, 5th - Cheetos stickers, tattoos, pokemon cards, dolls, beyblades, etc.
6th, 7th - The above ones + occasionally CDs, film posters, Vijay masks, etc.
8th, 9th - Game CDs, movie CDs and some undisclosed CDs, occasionally credit cards(mostly the outdated ones)
10th,11th,12th- CDs, Credit Cards(parent's expired ones and new), Cell phones and sometimes drugs!

They use the word 'Trading' for exchanging all these! Well, we used to trade books, CDs, etc. but never did it got to the extent of bothering the management!

4. SMS trend.. Well, "You are more than a loved one" in a forwarded SMS, just is another forwarded SMS and does not convey any emotional feelings. You are respected by the number of forwards you get/send and not the content of it!

5. Maya teacher for Physics in a famous school in Chennai...just fits the name! She looks so much like Kaaka Kaaka, Jo, that her students exclaim 'Avanga solli kodukaradhu puriyaati ennada? avangalai paathute irukalam!'

6. Kids, (should I use this word?), start teasing friends with classmates of the opposite sex as early as 6th or 7th std.!

7. Teachers do use words like 'boy-friend', 'dance-floor' in class. I studied in a convent and teachers/sisters were saintly those days!

Am not saying, we were naive, but it just looks like the kids are atleast 5 to 6 years ahead.

God save the innocence!

Manager Musings

Vasudevan got his promotion and was posted as the Branch manager of Unison bank of India. He was taking charge of a brand new branch. This means a lot of opportunities, fresh accounts and huge transactions as that was the only bank in the town - Bommikuppam. Those were the days, when computers were unheard of and banking was based on trust and understanding. It was a powerful, esteemed post for the managers and Vasudevan was welcomed by the Panchayat heads. He enjoyed the honor and respect.

In the initial few days, he had more visitors than customers and Vasudevan thought 'Today's visitors, tomorrow's customers'. Moreover, almost all visitors brought gifts for the manager - Milk, sugarcane, jaggery, home-made sweets, etc. Since Vasudevan realized that it was more out of respect than bribe, he accepted them with a smile.

Soon, all the hype withered out and Vasudevan realized it is not an exciting job after all! If there were 3 customers a day, Vasudevan would call it a 'busy day'! Work was getting mundane and spending time became tougher as his family also had gone on a vacation. He made it a habit to talk nicely and spend more time with his customers.

On one such not-so-busy day, Ramasamy came in to open an account in his name. Vasudevan checked the ration card and residence address. Ramasamy signed a few papers and the account was created in a jiffy. On the next day, Ponnammal, came into the bank, bringing her ration card with a request to open the account. Vasudevan smiled and told her 'You are very special! You are the first woman to open an account here'. When almost all the formalities were over, Vasudevan told her, 'Bring your photograph and give it to me and I'll open the account for you'. Ponnammal went back with a puzzled look.

After some time, Ramasamy walked in with the Panchayat head. It was obvious, that Ramasamy was angry and would pounce on Vasudevan any time. Vasudevan was perplexed and before he could open his mouth, Ramasamy yelled, 'How dare you ask my wife for her picture? I came in yesterday to open an account and you didn't ask! And you tell her, she is special!' Panchayat head, an old man, looked sourly at Vasudevan and asked, 'What is all this Sir?'

Vasudevan, started explaining with a sorry face and finally, Ramasamy and the Panchayat head smiled! Ramasamy shivered in embarrassment. Vasu, sighed in relief.

What do you think could be the reason? Well, it is not rocket science. But just thought I will let the readers guess for sometime. Post in the comments and I will give the answer next week.